What sex means in and out of relationships.
STORY | RACHEL PETTY
PHOTO | MARK OWEN
When I think about sex, which is quite often, to be frank, a ton of thoughts come rushing into my mind. “Who’s it with?” “What kind of sex is it?” and “Is it good?” are just a few examples.
During high school, sex seemed like a big deal to me, as it does to many high schoolers. I knew I wanted to lose my virginity to someone I was close with and trusted, but I never thought about how my perceptions of sex would change as I got older.
Sex in college is a whole different experience, as many of us know. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with casual sex. I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with not wanting to have casual sex. However, sex in relationships is undoubtedly my favorite.
When you spend a lot of time with someone and really get to know them, having sex is more than just pleasure. Instead of being in it for yourself, you’re in it for the both of you and you know that person is going to be there for you long after the potentially awkward morning after.
You can have fun with give and take, keep things exciting by stepping outside your comfort zone and let each other take control. To me, part of the fun in having sex is finding out what your partner likes and what works for the two of you.
Sex can be a way to connect at the end of the day, a way to start the morning with a bang or a simple tension reliever in the afternoon. Basically, you can do it anytime and certain things will stay the same — you’re with a person you love and you feel closer to one another.
STORY | ALLYN LETOURNEAU
Sex is often not openly talked about in public. Humans tend to avoid most topics of conversation dealing with our bodies, so it’s actually very rewarding to get these dialogues in motion.
It can be a little uneasy at first, but it’s something that almost all people eventually get around to doing, whether it’s before marriage or after the knot is tied. Either way, the method in which people interpret sex is always changing.
Throughout my college career, the meaning of sex has changed dramatically to me. Outside of a true relationship, it’s a very physically based desire. With a partner who I’m emotionally connected to beyond the physical realm, it holds a distinctive value.
It no longer becomes a craving fulfilled in the late hours of the night, but a display of how I care for that person. It’s incredible so long as it doesn’t turn into the focus of the relationship, which can be difficult, but nurturing to the growth between you and your significant other.
It’s important to remember that sex isn’t the primary way to connect to your partner. It’s simply the icing on the cake after a romantic evening, a fun night out or an adventure. Getting to know your partner outside of the bedroom before you get inside is essential to a successful relationship. The majority of relationships that focus on sex, in my experience, have failed.
Nothing beats a genuine, emotional connection to somebody you care for dearly.