Hook up or nah?

Hook up or nah?

posted in: Columns | 0

Have college students become too accustomed to hookup culture?


Matt Murphy: NO

Is hookup culture a real thing? Absolutely.
I think even the most sheltered purist would struggle to look at the social culture at colleges and claim that it doesn’t center significantly around sex. But is this hookup culture a problem? Not really.
The paradigm has flipped. Traditional hierarchies of dating that involved courting a love interest long before any sort of sexual advances took place have effectively been turned on their head. Now, in many cases,physical pleasure comes before the otherstages in which a relationship develops. This new way of doing things for many

college students seems much more confusing and harmful to the public than it actually is. The emotional confusion of two people trying to determine their relationship to one another after a sexual encounter is no different than the emotional confusion of two people trying to move along the traditional dating hierarchy, not knowing when to make the “next move.”

It’s oddly satisfying to pair that which is often seen as morally questionable with an inevitably disastrous outcome. Though we want to believe that those who partake in nights of random sexual pursuits have to face some sort of consequence (aside from maybe an the risk involved in random sex), there’s simply not any sort of greater punishment that makes any party involved “un-datable” or “hopeless” in regard to their future ability to have a real relationship. Perhaps a blossoming relationship will even result from a one- night stand. The urge to inevitably develop something meaningful with another person will almost always trump the flings that have become so ingrained into the college social scene.

 


Hayley Moore: YES

College students have definitely become too accustomed to “hookup culture” in the past few years. Dating doesn’t exist anymore and I’m positive that most college students don’t even know what it means to date someone.

When I think of dating, I think of our parents’ or grandparents’ generation. Typically, they would meet, get to know one another, talk on the phone, hang out, go to
the movies and, eventually, someone would ask out the other. After this, dates would include going to dinner, movies or just doing something special for one another just because someone felt like it. They were actually getting to know one another on several levels in order to make a connection.

Instead, we’re now glued to our phones on apps like Tinder in order to make a “connection” with someone. We go to parties on the weekends with the mindset of finding someone to “hook up” with and for some, that includes finding someone new every weekend. We may spend a few hours with someone with chances that we’ll never see them again or even want to.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone say that they just “don’t date” or they don’t like to go on dates. It’s ridiculous. What is that even suppose
to mean? To the people who have that mindset,
I ask you this: What kind of relationship are you looking for then? How do you want to be treated in a relationship? Most importantly, how do you expect to have a relationship with that kind of thinking?

There are no real connections that are made anymore with one another. It’s become a matter
of convenience and fun without getting to know someone first. Sure, hookups can turn into something more serious, but at this rate, do college students today want anything serious?


Rachel Petty: NO

If students are more into hooking up than dating in college, they should be respected for that

Our generation has been criticized for what many call “hookup culture,” which is especially prominent in college. People say we’ve lost respect for ourselves and no longer have the capacity to be in relationships, which I disagree with.

The idea of dating in college actually scares some people. They may be here to have fun, figure out who they are and possibly find a significant other along the way — but that is in no means everyone’s ultimate goal. Some people would rather save dating for after college.

If people are into dating in college, that’s perfectly fine. But for me, I’d much rather “hang out” with a guy I’m interested in than go out to dinner and a movie. I’m not sure when (or if) I’ll get over my fear of dates, but why should I be criticized for that?

I was in a yearlong relationship during part of my freshman and sophomore years. Once it ended, I was looking to explore and be myself for a while. I had the attitude that if I happened to really click with someone I met, that would be great. But if not, that was fine, too.

I didn’t think I’d find that someone by sitting across from them during a forced conversation at dinner
— and I was right. I found someone I really liked by hanging out with people and spending time doing things we both enjoyed.

If that involves hookup culture for some people, then so be it.


Briana Ellison: NO

As college students, we’re constantly hearing about the supposed “hookup culture” that permeates campuses around the country. We’re constantly being judged and pitied for the fact that our generation prefers hooking up to actual dating. However, I think this perception is horribly inaccurate.

Categorizing our entire generation as abandoning the institution of dating is wrong and ignores the various reasons people choose one culture over the other. First off, the decision whether to date or simply hookup is purely individual. Thus, everyone makes a different decision. Some people don’t want to date, and that’s OK. At times, there appear to be a lot of expectations surrounding dating and what it’s supposed to entail.

Furthermore, dating is weird and can be extremely awkward. And, as college students, we often have a lot on our plate, and aren’t exactly sure who we are as people and what we want in a partner. Thus, many abstain from dating so they have time to get themselves together as people before committing to someone else. You also have people who are already in relationships, so of course they aren’t going to be present in the dating pool.

Attributing a phenomenon such as “hookup culture” to the entirety of a college population is misleading and inaccurate. There are various reasons why some people choose hooking up over dating, and vice versa. There appears to be a lot of pressure to choose one or the other, when the decision is purely individual. Neither dating or hooking up are going anywhere and that’s the way it’s going to be. Of course we know how to date; it’s the actual process of dating that’s more difficult and terrifying to some people. And, of course, this doesn’t mean all of us are going to stay away from dating forever. Usually, we’re just waiting for the right person to come around, and if we want to experience the other culture in the meantime, let us be.


Grace Blackburn: NO

Every time I hear the words “hookup culture,” I have to roll my eyes. In this context, college students are painted as lust-filled fiends whose singular focus on their genitals will obliterate traditional values. But the behavior of today’s young adults is nothing new—people have been hooking up for decades, and society has turned out just fine.

Casual sex is certainly more common among younger people, but I don’t see why some people think this is a negative thing. The behavior of the masses doesn’t dictate the behavior of the individual. If someone doesn’t want to hook up, there are plenty of like-minded people who are also interested in more traditional dating. We’re all adults here; “everyone else was doing it” shouldn’t be a compelling motivation to our behavior.

Vilifying “hookup culture” is just another way to slut-shame people who don’t follow the confining social code that’s set in place about sex. If sex is something that’smeaningfulandemotionaltoyou,that’sfine,but it doesn’t have to be that way for everyone. Choosing
to hook up can be empowering and gratifying for some people, and that’s just as acceptable as choosing to only have sex when you have an emotional connection with someone.

If you want to date, then date. If you want to hook up, then hook up. Let’s not allow society to dictate our personal choices, and let’s stop demonizing people for their private sex lives.